At Perthville’s prime and only beach this morning, a lone child took to the jetty like it was a soapbox. In a one-man protest the Child Activist swam with the sharks, so to speak, and slammed those behind Perthville’s shark cull.

His motivation? “When I was really, really little (I mean, way more little than I am now), I saw the coolest spirally shaped shark egg, and ever since I have, like, loved sharks.” He believes there is no reason to fear being eaten by a shark.

The Wunderkind studied biology at kindy yesterday, and knows all about the species Homo sapiens: “certain varieties of which can be voracious, unpredictable, and dangerous to marine life,” he told the waiting press.