Our Chess Champion is not the only menace threatening to disturb the peace at Perthville’s Irish pub. The regulars went into uproar this morning when scantily clad entertainer and local snake charmer, aka Cindy, hotfooted it to the pub to collect her oversized Diamond Python, which had been hiding behind the bar.

“This here snake is harmless!” she shouted at the angry publicans, gesticulating with python in hand. “It’s a non-venomous species, you know!”

The good woman neglected to mention her python’s favourite pastime: constricting people to death.