The cause of rioting Perthville Wolves B Troop Scouts who’ve taken their Scout Leader hostage received a boost late yesterday, as the Policy Advisors called in to assess their demands, surprised observors by backing the mutineers’ log of claims.

Their report to the Perthville Scouts HQ contained three recommendations:

(a) That the Scouts be released from all showering obligations.

(b) That the Scouts release the Scout Leader, and give an undertaking to refrain from putting honey ants on his head.

(c) That 100 of the finest cream buns be delivered to the Scout Camp as soon as practicable, after the release of the Scout Leader.

As we went to press, it was not clear whether their proposed resolution had been accepted by the parties in dispute.