Do you ever feel like your life is nothing but being stuck on a train with a drunk driver at the controls?

If you are a Perthville commuter, that actually is your life. Sorry.

Your Train Driver just exited the Barton Arms Courage, Perthville’s most popular tavern, appearing disoriented and dizzy.

“Yes, I like a drink,” he said. “And I also drive trains. So?”

He excused himself to go to work.