Our mutinous Child Activist, who cannot be named for legal reasons as he is a minor, escaped juvenile detention this afternoon.

What did the boy do first, once he had shot clear of the barbed wire fence?

Protest. He was seen demonstrating against a planned expansion of the coal mine.

“In about the middle of my life, I got totally lost in a really, really dark wood, and couldn’t even find the way out,” said the child. “It was actually so cool.”

But he straightened up and said his next words with precision. “So when I heard they were going to engage in deforestation to make way for this mine, I felt it was a personal affront.”