The Mayor of Perthville, anticipating his own removal, called a meeting in town at the very top of the church at 3pm on Tuesday to discuss an amendment to the shark cull.

His idea is to extend the meaning of the word “shark” in local legislation to include its figurative meaning: that of a person who victimises or defrauds others by deceptive and unlawful means, i.e. to cover villains like the Vampire and Death.

The scapegoating is being hailed as a clever political move which could allow the Mayor to live to see another day in Perthville.