The Perthville Games will be launched in this very reserve as soon as the Senator and the Three Star General are deposed and deported out of the precinct.

We spoke to this lawn technician about why these games will be bigger than Sochi.

“The clincher will be the lawn bowls,” he said as he rolled out some lawn, predictably. He has a BSc in Lawn Technology and has been serving the Perthville area for several years, so was the obvious man for the job. “It just amazes me how all age groups embrace lawn bowls.”

“You can’t identify any particular demographic within the lovers of lawn bowls.”