Now that he has put his tiff with those nihilistic cameramen (“They were actually filming nothing!”) behind him, the Media Tycoon is on the prowl for Perthville’s next headline.

He arrived at the collision site and made up his own mind as to what happened.

“The Bride, who was travelling in the truck, is a beautiful young woman who’ll light up the camera. So we’ll say the driver of the car was the one speeding.”

Now the public will have someone to love, someone to hate, and no one to believe.