Forget everything you ever knew about the fire in Perthville.

We at The Perthville Times printed hours ago that the fire was lit by the Mystery Shopper, but a  brilliant Child Detective has just proved us wrong.

The child discovered that the Investigative Journalist, who was working freelance for us, started the celebrity fire because it was a slow news week.

Yes, it has been a slow news week, and now here we are writing an article about ourselves.