The recent Mayoral grant round left an area PE Teacher absolutely livid. The funding which had been promised to her to support the creation of a new gymnasium was instead promised to a military band. Normally a calm and gentle soul, the Physical Education instructor was enraged and wrought her fury on bandmembers drums and instruments as they played.

Afterwards, she was not remorseful at all – “What is more important? Physical education or the Arts? Nobody likes the arts, it is rubbish – no good to anyone, at least PE keeps you fit and healthy”.

The Perthville Times agrees with her radical viewpoint.