Our vacillating Prosecutor changed tack today in his pursuit of the perpetrators behind Perthville’s toxic sludge spill.  Forgotten his quest of the Forensic Accountant, he now recalls sighting the real perpetrators when he himself was at the river on the day the toxic sludge crisis (TSC) began.

Law school rule no. 1: never call a witness if you don’t know what he’s going to say.

Well, here at least the Prosecutor will know what his chief witness (himself) will say. And that is, apparently, that the boy scouts who were swimming in the river had taken the plunge without showering, and this after a day of hot, sweaty orienteering. Result = toxic sludgey water.

Word is he will seek a sentence of four months community service – a pyrrhic victory for justice (don’t scouts do voluntary community work anyway?)

We have a short message for our mind-changing Prosecutor – take heed of the ethos of your intended victims – come clean next time!