LATEST: the Hostage Negotiator accepts flowers from the Florist and releases the Pilot. He returns to his real job – negotiating the freedom of the real hostage.

How did it come to this? Refresh your memory with our timeline.

16: 57 hours – The Hostage Negotiator takes the Pilot hostage for emasculating him at the ongoing hostage situation with the Robber. The former seems to have misconstrued his job title. He is gesticulating and offering a spaceship to the Robber in lieu of Santa’s sleigh.

11: 21 hours – A Robber has taken a chilled-out woman hostage on the beach. The Hostage Negotiator uses whatever he has, which is his brother’s car (borrowed without his bro’s knowledge) to convince the Robber to put the woman down. The Negotiator bravely offers the car, a McLaren F1, for the woman’s life.

08:47 hours – Hostage Negotiator talks the scouts into accepting only 50 cream buns and three showers a week – their original requests were deemed ridiculously unhealthy (he does however note that while firearms were stated to have been discovered in the scouts’ tents, it turned out the guns were just ammunition for a water fight.) He hears of a hostage situation near the beach and moves straight there.