Look, we’re not sure how many more Farnham lyrics we can use in our headlines here at The Perthville Times. But that’s not what matters right now.

What matters is that the Hairdresser of Perthville today fell off the cliff on which she was working assiduously, and was caught by a Dance Party Entertainer who was walking underneath.

That’s not even the story. The story is still coming.

That Dance Party Entertainer dropped his burning stick, and the flames spread quickly.

We should have a second fire burning in Perthville soon. This one might be invisible, though.