No, we do not here present to you the story of Heloise and Abelard, because that is not ours to tell.

We can only tell you about a young lady called Eloise, and a man called the Stockbroker.

Eloise, the Stockbroker’s true love, was getting married today at the church – but not to him.

He rushed, helter pelter, to the church to stop that wedding.

He was too late.

Now Eloise is married, and there is nothing for the Stockbroker but to devote his money to the cause of the just and good, and invest in Perthville.

Bears some similarities to Heloise and Abelard after all.