The crocodile who ate her today could find few positive words to say about the dish.

“Bland. Not exciting. Not a restaurant-quality meal,” said the croc, flashing blue eyes reminiscent of Pete Evans’. “All in all, not much of an entree.”

How did this come to be?

The unlucky Food Writer fell in love with a cameraman (he was filming, and she crossed his camera lens), and for their wedding they journeyed out on a boat into croc-infested waters.

There, she fell into the water and was eaten by a crocodile.

Much to the crocodile’s regret.