The crocodile who ate her today could find few positive words to say about the dish. “Bland. Not exciting. Not

    The white elephant of Perthville, whose name is probably Ellie, has just been rescued from the parade and taken

  This Media Tycoon knows how to get a good story out. Today he organised a fake shark attack and made

    He’s too embarrassed to say where he got the power, but we care little for his embarrassment. Most unfortunately. He

    Perthville’s Activist is on a mission to prove that sharks are not an issue, no matter how far out

It appears as though Perthville’s top Weightlifter has gone missing after a brutal weightlifting competition with Superboy. He was

  The Policy Advisors of Perthville, who give nothing but the best advice, have been retained by the government to

    The Investigative Journalist finally figured out the murmurings of the dying Construction Worker. So, the uranium is being sent

  Ice sculptures do not generally live long lives, but the Home Renovators are here to change all that. They’ve built

    Eco Warriors – they fight zombies, don’t they? We won’t extrapolate, so we can only speak for the Eco Warrior

    We’ve caused them a great deal of stress recently, haven’t we? Everyone knows that stress causes high blood pressure, and

  We don’t care much for genetic impossibilities here at The Perthville Times. As far as we can tell, this